Dr. Erich Lindemann was an early pioneer in grief therapy. His work with survivors of the Coconut Grove Nightclub fire in Boston; lead him to believe that avoidance of the body is done at the psychological peril of the bereaved. Avoiding the body image appears at first to be convenient in the immediate phase of acute grief but this convenience is really an “illusion.” (Symptom logy and Management of Acute Grief, Lindemann, E. American Journal of Psychiatry, 1944:101).
Rabbi Earl A. Grollman in his book Concerning Death: A Practical Guide for the Living (Beacon Press, Boston, MA, 1974) discusses viewing the body. “This is perhaps of greater importance today than ever before…seeing is believing…Proper preparation and, when necessary, restoration helps to modify and remove the marks of violence or the ravages of disease. Preparation, restoration, and the use of cosmetics are not meant to make the dead look alive. They provide an acceptable image for recall the deceased. Viewing is therapeutic for people, regardless of age.”
The website www.funeralswithlove.com also states, “Seeing the body at rest is enormously helpful to some.”
>>> Articles • Additional Articles • Website Resources • Books <<<
Articles:
Listed below are some additional resources:
More Articles
Death and Identity. By Robert Fulton, New York, New York, Wiley Publishing, 1965.
For the Living. By Edgar N. Jackson, New York, New York, Channel Press, 1965.
The Funeral: Vestige or Value. By Paul Irion, Philadelphia, PA, Fortress Press, 1968.
Grief and Grief Management: Some Reflections. By Erich Lindemann. Journal of Pastoral Care, volume 30, 1976.
The Attending at the Funeral. By Patrick Irvine. New England Journal of Medicine. Volume 312, 1985.
Access to the dead: the role of relatives in the aftermath of disaster. P. Dix. Originally printed in The Lancet, 1998;352:1061-1062.
Bodies in Motion and at Rest. By Thomas Lynch. New York, New York, Norton, 2000.
Living with Loss, Healing with Hope. Rabbi Earl Groffman. Beacon Press, 2000.
The Value of Viewing. By Doug Manning. The Dodge Magazine, March, 2001.
Journaling through Grief. By Tamara Tabel. Personal Journaling, December 2001:51-53.
Healing Grief. By Victor M. Parachin, Chalice Press, 2001.
The Annual Cost of Despair. By J. Zaslow. Originally printed in the Wall Street Journal, November 20, 2002.
Bereavement Care: Seeing the Body. By F. Haas, Nursing Standards, volume 17, 2003.
The Long Good-bye. By Vicki M. Payne. NY Times March 10, 2003.
Bringing Back the Dead, Photographer Captures a Harlem Undertaker’s Art. By Alan Feuer. NY Times, January 22, 2004.
Grievers Ask: Answers to Questions about Death and Loss. By Harold Ivan Smith, Augsburg Fortress Press, 2004.
When a Friend Dies: A Book for Teens About Grieving & Healing. Marily E. Gootman, Free Spirit Publishing, 2005.
Why Disposing of the Dead Matters to the Living. By Somini Sengupta. NY Times February 24, 2005.
Children at the Deathbed. By K. Baltzell. Originally published in the YB News (Beyond Indigo 2005), July 2005.
Foundation to Target Youth Suicide through Columbia University TeenScreen Program. Originally printed in YB News, August 2005.
Ignoring a Death. Kelly Baltzell, MA. Originally printed in YB News, August, 2005.
Misconceptions about Grief. Victor M. Parachin. Originally printed in The Director, August, 2005.
Will We Ever Arrive at the Good Death? By R.M. Henig. Originally published in the New York Times, August 7, 2005.
After Life, For a woman left behind after her husband’s death, life can become a labyrinth of questions. J. Didion. Originally printed in the NY Times Magaines, September 25, 2005.
A Learnable Practice, cultivating hope during bereavement. V. Parachin. Originally printed in The Director, October 2005.
An Argument Against Direct Cremation. J. Van Rensselar. Originally printed in The Director, October 2005.
One Year to Live. K. Baltzell. Originally printed in YB News, October, 2005.
Good Night. Ten ways for grievers to get a better night’s sleep. Victor M. Parachin. The Director, December, 2005.
In the Rear Window, Tributes to the Dead. A. Engel. Originally printed in the NY Times, December 11, 2005.
Do’s & Don’ts. Kelly Baltzell, YB News, January, 2006.
Nothing Takes the Place of Touch. Doug Manning, The Dodge Magazine, January, 2006.
Two Decembers: Loss and Redemption. Anne Marie Feld. NY Times, January 29, 2006.
Call me if you need anything and other things not to say. Harold Ivan Smith.
Death’s Door, Modern Dying and the Ways We Grieve. Sandra M. Gilbert. North & Company.
Surving the death of a sibling –living through grief when a adult brother or sister dies. TJ Wray.
The empty chair: handling grief on holidays and special occasions. Susan J. Zonnebelt-Smeenge and Robert D. DeVries.
The orphaned adult: understanding and coping with grief and change after the death of our parents. Alexander Levy.
The Year of Magical Thinking. Joan Didion, Alfred A. Knopf Press, NY.
When your family pet has died: helping the children. K. Baltzell. YB News, March, 2006.
Perception is reality. D. Manning. The Dodge Magazine, March, 2006.
I wasn’t ready to say good-bye: surviving, coping and healing after the sudden death of a loved one. Brook Noel.
Modern Dying and the Ways We Grieve. Sandra M. Gilbert.
For the Families of the Dying, Coaching as the Hours Wane. J. Gross Originally printed in the New York Times, May 20, 2006.
Dying was the best thing that ever happened to me: Stories of Healing and Wisdom Along Life's Journey. Dr. William E. Hablitzel.
Talking to the Elderly About Dying. Kelly Baltzell, originally printed in YB News, July, 2006.
Unresolved and Conflicted Grief is a Variable in forms of Anti-social Behavior. Originally printed in YB News, July, 2006.
Children and Loss. Victor M. Parachin. Originally printed in The Director, July, 2006.
After Death Mapping the Journey. Sukie Miller and Suzanne Lipsett.
All of Us: American Talk about the Meaning of Death. Patricia Anderson.
On Grief and Grieving. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler.
Helping Questions. K. Baltzell. Originally printed in YB News, September, 2006.
Grief and Mourning: Expressions to help us heal. J. Johnson, Originally printed in The Dodge Magazine, September, 2006.
The Final Reminder: How I emptied my parents house. Lydia Flem
Annie Freeman's Fabulous Traveling Funeral. Kris Radish
Assessing grief and bereavement: observations from the field. M. Michalski. Originally printed in Omega, 2006;54:91-106
Giving and Grieving. Victor Parachin. Originally printed in the Director Magazine, October, 2006.
What is Normal? Kelly Baltzell. Originally printed in the YB News, October, 2006.
The Gift of Aftercare. Sherry Williams. Originally printed in the YB News, October, 2006.
The Empty Space. Kelly Baltzell. Originally printed in the YB News, November, 2006.
Used pacemaker could keep someone else ticking. Jim Ritter. Originally printed in the Chicago Sun-Times, November 27, 2006.
Life is Not a Spectator Sport. Todd Little. Originally printed in the International Cemetery & Funeral Management, December, 2006.
Left Behind. Victor M. Parachin. Originally printed in The Director, January 2007.
Why People Need Rituals. Todd Van Beck. Originally printed in ICCFA Magazine, January 2007.
Ghost in the Dream. Dinah Lenney. Originally printed in The NY Times Magazine, February 18, 2007.
How Shall We Deal with Grief in these Tumultuous Times? Maria Dancing Heart. Originally printed in YB News, March 2007
What Grieving People Have to Say. Kelly Baltzell. Originally printed in YB News, March 2007.
Blue Mood: Dealing with depression in grief. Todd Van Beck. Originally printed in the American Funeral Director, May 2007
The Grieving Child: is your funeral home child-friendly? Alicia Sims Franklin. Originally printed in the American Funeral Director, May 2007
Letting Go of Our Loved Ones. Judith Graham. Originally printed in the Chicago Sun-Times, May 29, 2007
When a Child Dies. Joy Johnson for the Dodge Magazine, Summer, 2007
There’s No Quick Prescription for Grief. C. Keith Geense. Originally printed in the ICCFA Magazine, July 2007
I can still hold his hand. Denise Crosby. Originally printed in Chicago Sun-Times, July 26, 2007
Black Death and Momento Mori. Adrienne Kalmes. Originally printed in YB News, August, 2007
Children and Pet Loss. Kelly Baltzell. Originally printed in YB News, August, 2007
When a Partner Dies. Joy Johnson. Originally printed in the Dodge Magazine, November-December, 2007
Christmas Flourishes, in a Trim Green Stillness (at Holy Cross Cemetery and Mortuary). Originally printed in the NY Times, December 23, 2007
Assessing adults difficulty in coping with funerals. B. Hayslip, et al. Orignally printed in Omega, 2007; 55:93-115
Still trying to bring their fallen heroes home. N. Bernstein. Originally printed in the NY Times, February 3, 2008
The Power of Caring. Doug Manning, Originally printed in the Dodge Magazine, Summer, 2008
Condolences, Felt but Not Expressed. Kent Sepkowitz. Originally printed in the NY Times, August 12, 2008
Easier to rest in peace if affairs in order. Paige Wiser. Originally printed in the Chicago Sun-Times, August 17, 2008
Artisans carve niche for grave markers. H. Russ. Originally printed in Chicago Tribune, December 1, 2008
Dealing with anticipatory grief. T. Van Beck. Originally printed in the ICCFA Magazine, January, 2009
For families of the War Dead, a Mournful Ritual of Homecoming. K. Q. Seelye. Originally printed in the New York Times, May 6, 2009
Grief and the Loss of the Loving Relationship. T. Van Beck. Originally printed in the Dodge Magazine, Spring, 2009
Twenty-Four Pounds. D. Bailey. Originally printed in the Dodge Magazine, Spring, 2009
After a Death, the Pain That Doesn't Go Away. F. Schumer. Originally printed in the New York Times, September 29, 2009
Lives: Ashes - A journey to an unlikely burial ground. J. Matloff. Originally printed in the New York Times, October 6, 2009
Chronicle of a Death We Can't Accept. T G Long. Originally printed in the New York Times, November 1, 2009
Cemetery Plunder Shows That in Venezuela, Even Death May Not Bring Peace. Originally printed in the New York Times, December 11, 2009
The Last Decision: a new approach to organ donation doesn't require waiting until the donor's brain death. D Sanghavi. Originally printed in the New York Times Magazine, December 20, 2009
When I Was Left To Speak for Both of Us. P G Licata. Originally printed in the New York Times, January 17, 2010
Getting On With Life After a Partner Dies. J. Brody, Originally printed in New York Times, June 15, 2010
My Father's Broken Heart. K. Butler, Originally printed in New York Times Magazine, June 20, 2010
Till Death Do They Part. K. Howley, Originally printed in New York Times Magazine, July 11, 2010
Bereaved Relatives Helped by Chance to View body After Sudden Loss. B. Bower, Originally printed at www.usnews.com
How to heal after the death of a sister or brother. V Parachin, originally printed in The Director (NFDA Publication) August, 2010
The Gift of Aftercare. SL Williams. Originally printed in the Funeral Home and Cemetery News. October, 2010
A Final Cocoon. J Wadler. Originally printed in the New York Times, November 11, 2010.
Flavoring the Gravy: Elder Grief. J Johnson. Originally printed in the Dodge Magazine, Fall, 2010.
Helping Man's Best Friend. A Hunter. Originally printed in the Dodge Magazine, Fall, 2010.
The Death of An Elderly Parent. Rabbi E. Grollman. Originally printed in the Dodge Magazine, Fall, 2010.
Dance, Laugh, Drink. Save the Date: It's a Ghanaian Funeral. S. Dolnick. Originally printed in the New York Times, April 12, 2011
Grief, Unedited. RD Konigsberg. Orginally printed in the New York Times, February 15, 2011
Why We Write About Grief. Originally printed in the New York Times, February 27, 2011
China Curbs Fancy Tombs of Rich that Irk Poor. S LaFraniere, originally published in the NYT, April 23, 2011
"Daddy, you're so handsome." Full Face transplant patient makes first appearance. Originally published in the Chicago Sun-Times, May 10, 2011
Recomposing Life's Details From Scraps. D Stout, originally published in the New York Times, June 21, 2011
Men in Grief Seek Others Who Mourn as They Do. P. Garfinkel. Originally printed in the NY Times, July 26, 2011.
Balloons, Cracked Eggs and Dead Worms: Helping Small Children Understand Death. J. Johnson. Originally printed in The Dodge Magazine, Fall 2011.
Funeral Directors and End-of-Life Decisions. Rabbi E. A. Grollman. Originally printed in The Dodge Magazine, Fall 2011.
The First One to Touch. D. Manning. Originally printed in The Dodge Magazine, Fall 2011.
In 9/11 Remains, Grief Anew. Originally printed in the New York Times, November 13, 2011.
Mourning in a Digital Age. B. Feiler. Originally printed in the New York Times, January 15, 2012.
Choosing our final resting place. J. Atlas, originally printed in the New York Times, February 29, 2012.
The Gift of Aftercare. S. Williams, originally printed in the YB News March, 2012.
The Ultimate Death Symbol. A. Wolfelt, originally printed in The Director, April, 2012.
There's Something More. After-death communication. J. Johnson, originally printed in the Dodge Magazine, Spring, 2012.
Sometimes Even Grownups Want to Fuss, Muss, Cling and Cry: Supporting Grieving Children. J Johnson. Originally printed in the Dodge Magazine, Fall 2012.
Teens and Grief: I'm Standing Tall! J. Johnson, originally printed in the Dodge Magazine, Winter, 2013.
The Land of No Immediate Dispositions. D. Manning, Originally printed in the Dodge Magazine, Spring, 2013
Reflections Concerning a Small Shattered Town. Rabbi E.A. Grollman, Originally printed in the Dodge Magazine, Spring, 2013
Last Inspection: Precise Ritual of Dressing Nation's War Dead. J Dao. Originally printed in the New York Times, May 26, 2013
House of Death. A Reisman, MD. Originally printed in the New York Times, June 2, 2013.
Making the Right Call, Even in Death. LK Altman, MD. Originally printed in the New York Times, July 2, 2013.
A Picture in Words. D Manning. Originally printed in the Dodge Magazine, Summer, 2013.
Final Fear: Funeral homes refuse victims of brain disease. Originally published on www.nbcnews.com, October 9, 2013
Latin American Bring Up It's Dead, Seeking Truth to Help Settle the Past. S. Romero. Originally printed in the New York Times, October 17, 2013
On the Island of the Dead. C. Kilgannon. Originally printed in the New York Times, November 17, 2013
Cheryl Denelli Righter, The Donor for a Very Unusual Transplant. R. M. Henig. Originally printed in the New York Times Magazine. January, 2014.
Ashes to Ashes, but First a Nice Pine Box. J. M. Piehler. Originally printed in the New York Times, February 2, 2014
Will I Ever Be The Same? Rabbi E.A. Grollman. Originally printed in the Dodge Magazine, Winter, 2014.
A General Redefines Mourning. H Seligson. Originally printed in the New York Times, March 23, 2014.
Helping after a suicide. Rabbi E Grollman. Originally printed in the Dodge Magazine, Spring 2014.
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Books
5 Wishes (Document for Living Will). Available through www.agingwithdignity.org
A new normal: Learning to live with grief and loss. D. Cross
A Very Easy Death. Simone de Beauvoir
A Widow's Story. Joyce Carol Oates
Attending the Dying: A Handbook of Practical Guidesline. M Anderson
Death, mourning and burial: a cross cultural reader. Antonius Robben
Death with Dignity. R. Orfall
Death's Door: Modern Dying and the Ways We Grieve. Sandra Gilbert
Dying Well. I Byock, Md.
End-of-Life: Helping with Comfort and Care. Available through the National Institute on Aging, National Institutes of Health
Exploring Death: What you should know about dying. J. J. Petrovic
Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs and Communications of the Dying. M. Callanan and P. Kelley
From Grief to Peace - mourning your loss. A. Risten
Going Home. Jon Katz, Random House.
Good Grief, finding peace after pet loss. S Korpl
Griefstruck: When a Death Changes Your Life. MA Greene, M O'Connor
Grieving a Soulmate. R. Orfall
Grieving Dads: to the brink and back. K. Farley
Farewell, my friend. Beatrice T. Bailey
Good Grief. Granger E. Westberg
Good mourning: getting through your grief. Allen Hugh, Jr.
Grief Girl. Erin Vincent Delacorte
Grieving the Death of a Mother. Harold Ivan Smith
Handbook for Mortals. Joanne Lynn, Joan Harrold
Healing Hope for your Grief & Bereavement. Dr. Penny Wanjiru Nsoroge
Healing: The Essential Guide To Helping Others Overcome Grief and Loss. Alicia King
Healing the Hurt Spirit: Daily Affirmations for People Who Have Lost a Loved One to Suicide. Catherine Greenleaf.
Heartwounds: The impact of unresolved trauma and grief in relationships. Tian Dayton
Home Burial. Michael McGriff
Honey The Rock Hound: A Puppy Dies A Family Mourns. Tom Lord
I wasn't ready to say good-bye: surviving, coping, and healing after the sudden loss of a loved one. P. Blair, B. Noel
I will see you in Heaven. J Wintz
Inside the Broken Heart. J. Yarbrough.
Life on the Death Beat. A. Baranick, J Sheeler, S. Miller. Marion Street Press.
Love Cemetery: Unburying the secret history of slaves. C. Galland. Harper-Collins Publishers.
Mama's Going to Heaven Soon. Kathe Martin Copeland
Mortal Remains. The dead are no longer welcome at their own funerals. So how can the living send them on their way? Thomas Lynch. From the Good Funeral by Thomas Lynch and Thomas G. Long, Available Autumn of 2013.
Mourning Diary. Roland Barthes
Passages: The Mystery of Death - Finding Meaning in Life. Tomas and Garth Fuller
The Dragonfly Door. Barbara L. Gibson
The End-of-Life Advsior: Personal, Legal and Medical Considerations for the Peaceful, Dignified Death. S Dolan, A R Vizzard
The Other Side of Sadness: what the science of bereavement tells us about life after loss. George A. Bonanno
The Purple Balloon. Chris Raschka
The Truth About Grief: The Myth of its Five Stages and New Science of Loss. Ruth D. Konigsberg
The way men heal. T. Golden
Thin the Veil. Penelope Ann Thomas
Things to Say to a Dead Man. J. Yolen
To Serve the Living: Funeral Directors and the African American Way of Death. S E Smith
Widow. Michelle Latiolais
Widow Words: 100 Simple Pieces of Advice from Another Widow. Marcia A. Curran
A Widow's Story. Joyce Carol Oates
Wrestling with the Angel: Literary Writings and Reflections on Death, Dying & Bereavement. Kent L. Koppelman
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An Introduction to the Care of Your Loved One